okt. 10, 2004

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Ég hef ákveðið að koma sjálfum mér á lappir. Ég hef staðið í tilraun undanfarna tvo mánuði sem fólst í því að fela mig fyrir flestum á sem flestum vettvöngum.(er hægt að beygja orðið svona?) Á þessum tíma reyndi ég að vera helst ekki staddur á landinu. Ég flúði til Danmerkur og Hollands í sannkallaðar unaðsreisur. Hvids vinstue og hátíð mikil í Leiden voru ágæt hliðarspor þeirra ferða en gaman var þó að hitta eftir langa fjarveru, fjölskyldu mína og verðandi tengdafjölskyldu.

Ég varð vitni að einum skemmtilegasta og hressasta viðburði sem komið hefur fyrir í sögu Evrópu. Þessi viðburður innihélt þennan hlut.

Á miðnætti á laugardagskvöldi í miðborg Leiden þá voru tugir þúsunda karlmanna í spreng. Þessir menn voru þarna samankomnir ásamt álíka miklum fjölda kvenna til að fagna einhverjum viðburði sem átti sér stað á sautjándu öld á svipuðum árstíma. Þegar Hollendingar fagna þá drekka þeir mikinn bjór. Þetta sem við sjáum hér að ofan er útipissuskál sem er greinilega til eins nýtileg. Að pissa í hana. Meira að segja geta fjórir í einu pissað í þessa einu skál það sem eins og flatarmál hennar gefur til kynna þá eru fjórar afmarkaðar skálar sem eiga það allar sameiginlegt að hægt sé að pissa í þær. Á fyrrnefndu miðnætti þá hafði myndast ansi góð röð við eina af þessum úrínalíum. Mörgum var orðið mikið í mun að fá að spreyta sig á þeim og sumum meira en öðrum.

Svo ég lengi ekki orð mín enn meira þá varð ég vitni að því að einum manni var orðið það mikið mál að pissa að hann beygði sig í hnjánum og reyndi að pissa í gegnum klofið á öðrum manni sem var að brúka úrínöluna. Þessi tilraun endaði þannig að krafturinn á bunu þess sem stóð aftar varð heldur mikill og fékk afturendi þess sem stóð framar að kenna á henni. Sá fremri varð ekkert gífurlega kátur með tilraunir þess aftari og réði til höggs. Ekki fór nú betur en svo að buxurnar duttu niður um hann sem og hann sjálfur á jörðina dragandi þann aftari með sér.

Hellidemba, umhverfið litað grænt af Heineken glóð mikilli og tveir menn með buxurnar niðrum sig að glíma í faðmlögum á hellulagðri stétt í miðborg Leiden.

P.s. Kristjana rændi glowstick gleraugum af manni og eignaðist vin í formi sextugs homma með skreytifíkn.

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